Recipe for Domestic Disaster

I think I might fail my kindergarten assignment. Teacher appreciation week begins tomorrow at my son’s school and we, the parents, were asked to submit recipes for inclusion in a surprise recipe box… last week. I’m dealing with several issues at the moment.

I’m tardy.
And I’m pulling an all-nighter.

We were instructed to simply fill out one or two pairs of index cards. I haven’t used an index card in like 28 years, but after a ten-minute dig through a collection of desk drawers, I managed to turn up exactly four index cards… three had random staple holes and one had a creased corner. “I can’t turn this in,” I thought.

So I decided to type and print my recipes and then affix them to the index cards to mask the fact that I don’t have cute little personalized recipe cards like most domestic mothers. “Heck, this solution might even demonstrate my typing prowess,” I thought. So after very carefully cutting out each recipe to fit perfectly on each less-than-perfect index card, the question of adherence quickly came to mind.

Scotch tape? Clear packing tape? Hmm. Double-sided tape would be perfect. I have none of that. Clear Elmer’s glue? Okay, let’s go with that. I figured it would give me a nice non-crinkled finish. So, I glued around the edges of the index cards and zigzagged a bit in the middle, and then carefully placed each paper recipe cutout onto each index card. I even took it a step further to place a stack of books onto the cards to ensure maximum adhesion. Feeling quite crafty and (okay, I’ll say it) domestic, I moved on to bigger and more challenging tasks… like laundry.

Nearly an hour had passed, so I returned to my little art project in hopes of completing the assignment. I lifted the books and found that the glue actually seeped through my typed text in various spots. “I can’t turn that in,” I thought. So shortly after 1:00am, I set the cards out to dry and read a handful of blogs to pass the time (and help me forget about the fact that my assignment was not progressing as planned).

Thirty minutes or so had passed, and I mustered up enough courage to check on the drying process. And guess what? Dry cards, yes, but now they are CURLED. So, here I sit typing out this blog post at 2:29am in exasperation as I wait for the cards to uncurl beneath my MacBook.

I wonder if this is the right time to pull out the “dog ate my homework” scenario?

Technorati Tags: domestic disaster, motherhood, the dog ate my homework, recipe cards, stephanie roberts